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If you are meeting frequently,keep a check.You are likely to fall in love.So..better stay away from Dogs/bitches.

In One Word

In one word..my life is ..."Miraculous".

Finally..

Finally...the day came.A alot of people in house,noisy it was.I was the only one running all around..the provider..someone needs tea,the other coffee,kids cold drinks....ahh,it was damm tiring.But the day proved out to be memorable one.. surprising...left so may people with tears in eyes and smile on lips together.

She came to me,took chair.. said in a low volume,"its all final.".
And I atonce turned to her,it took me 2minutes to accept the fact that she's really going.I was damm happy for her..more than anyone.She too was all in tears but I could see the shine too.I gave her a warm hug like an elder sister.I knew she would miss someone today.She often says,"you know you are a born mother."
Suddenly I got up..ran for a packet..unwrapped it..took a plate, went into drawing room.I am a responsibile volunteer..so I had to offer "mithayi" to everyone now.
Seeing me everyone smiled back.
:)
I was so..soo happy for her,it was completely a new moment for me..it felt like a younger sister or daughter of mine is gonna get married..a sudden feeling of peak happiness with a feeling of loosing someone so dear....anyways..
Though she is my aunt(pa's sister), almost 1.5 times of my age but she's more like a sister or a friend..and I'hv been her all time counsellor,guide...and atlast one and only niece.But I never knew she loves me this much..she really does.Each time I see her now,I silently pray..may God bless her with all the happiness and goodluck.

Miss you..

I got a call from him.
He asked,"should I come back? as its quite late now.As you only, always ask me to stay there when its late.".
I said,"Yes..sure.do come.We all are waiting for you yaar.please come soon."
And there he comes...I see him.He looked bit dark and low.Though its 11.30pm but still its day outside.We all were having lunch..probably.He took a deep sigh and landed on sofa,seemed tired, still relaxed.
I went to him,kissed him and asked,"where'd you gone yar...I miss you."
He kept silence.

and I open my eyes slowly..it's 6'o clock in morning.
Suddenly comes into my mind..ohh,its raksha-bandhan today.
And I simply..smile..
thanks Bhai.you came.

yeah...it was a dream,Lost him two years back in a road accident.and he was only 27.
Life...

Later told my aunt(pa's sister),I saw him today.And she said,"you know...you'r one sacred soul.that's why things like this happen to you only." Her words reminded me of something else.
I smiled..again...

Stranger

It was around 11 in morning.And he just took the same auto I was going for.Anyways he let me sit first (at left side) and then rushed inside the auto.Had a heavy bag with him.Auto driver asked him to put it up there at back side and the poor guy had to.But then only I felt my handbag slipping down my lap and I gave him a irritate look..he got scared.But as I held it back I found actually, my bags strap got shuffled with his bag's and so..I felt sorry ,couldn't help but smiled.I observed him later only,he was nice,smart and well behaved.
Trying to be humble,I started the conversation.He was very kind and attentive in replying to me.
Me-"so..going home?"
He-"yes".
Me-"which school?"
He-"R.K.Mission."
Me-"Ohh,thats very good.which class?"
He-"7th." (then the proud man looked at me and returned a sweet smile with dimples in both of his cheeks.)
And I was lost.He was damm cute.
Me-"My bro too's been a student there.Teachers there are quite strict ,right?"
He-"yes..they scold really hard and give alot homework."(and I could see we were friends now)
And the conversation kept going on till our stop.
He made my day.I still remember his round fair face,bright eyes and dimple smile.
Now my eyes search for him each time I go onto that route around 11.
:)

,

got my hands burnt....badly...
Later..

am nowhere

I am completely unable to understand where my life is going..what it wanna let me see and experience.Two strong pillers of my life...'hv been holding me tight ...making me stable...and I dont find any of them now...they both have atonce....left me all alone in this world.

I dont remember if I did anything wrong to anyone.
The selfishness of this world has torn me apart...the selfishness of people who still try to make me believe in their love,care and affection for me.
Lies...lies..lies...
"I Love you" really aint the words I wanna hear anymore...not atleast once.These seem to be the most fake words.Coz the assurance they give to you ,more they make you dependent on them.I always say to people I love,that am always there for you,but there isnt a single person who can say this to me now.

I feel so lonely...

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Strangers are always soothing and known...disappointments.

Purani jeans...

Purani jeans....ar guitar.

Mohalle ki vo chhat......Aur mere yaar
Vo raaton ko...jaagna
Subah ghar jaan ....Kood ke deewar
Vo cigarette peena ....Gali mein jaake
Wo karna daanton ko....Ghadi ghadi saaf

Pahunchna college.......hamesha late
Vo kehna sir ka ......"Get out from the class!"
Vo bahar jaake....hamsha kehna
Yahan ka system ....Hi hai kharaab
Vo jaake canteen mein....table bajaake
Vo gaane gaana ......Yaaron ke saath
Bas yaadein Yaadein Yaadein reh jaati hain
Kuchh chhoti Chhoti Baatein reh jaati hain
Bas yaadein..
Vo papa ka......daantna
Vo kehna mummy ka.....Chhodein ji aap
Tumhein to bas......nazar aata hain
Jahan mein beta .....Mera hi kharaab
Vo dil mein sochna

Kar ke kuchh dikha dein
Vo karna planning.......Roz nayi yaar

Ladakpan ka vo pehla pyaar
Vo likhna haathon pe.....A + R
Vo khidki se......jhaankna
Vo likhna letter ....Unhein baar baar
Vo dena tofe mein .....Sone ki baaliyan
Vo lena doston se......Paise udhaar

Bas yaadein Yaadein Yaadein reh jaati hain
Kuchh chhoti Chhoti Baatein reh jaati hain
Bas yaadein..

Aisa yaadon ka mausam chala
Bhoolta hi nahin.....Dil mera
Kahan meri jeans aur......guitar
Mohalle ki vo chhat....Aur mere yaar
Vo raaton ko......jaagna

Subah ghar jaan .....Kood ke deewar
Purani jeans
Aur guitar...

If you have heard this song then you might be trying to sing it while reading and

If you are a guy then you surely can relate to this..word by word.

Got to listen this song recently....and truely this is one real song,with no exaggeration of feelings.Lovely.I wish if I were a boy,I could do all these things...I think even much more than that.They are blessed with born freedom..

agony....

Have you ever been in a state.......when life seems to be drowning you away...far from all of your anticipations..........when it becomes a predicament...

Like something is slipping away your grip....the harder you try..the more it slips..and what you can do only is to watch...you find yourself helpless...

Like.....your heart is being stabbed with knives....each time...you think of it....but still what all you can do...is..to recall it again..and again..coz thats what you are left with...

Something clutches...inside..you feel it near your throat...

when the fresh air ,each time you breath in.... intoxicates you more than before....when no color of life attracts you....no music relieves you....no word heals you....your very own hopes turn into the source of despair....you hate each and everything around....you run from things that have eased you anyhow....ever in life......the more beautiful the more poisonous...you start hating life passionately..far more ,than have you ever loved it....

You run from yourself....from your dreams once you had....you hate your own voice...your own thoughts....your own perceptions...your own smile....a tear roll down your cheek..,each time you come to mirror...you look into your eyes...deep within...stare..without making a single squint....asking many questions to yourself....but all remain unrequited.....

Nothing gives you pleasure..in this materialistic world...with each bite you take,each sip you have.....these days,you swallow one of your anxiety...

All the people smiling...seem to be the most stupid ones....as they still don't know what life is....as they too are living in mendacity of people,relationships....

Life becomes the whole of melancholy...nothing else....rain is no more pleasant....water doesn't drench you...sun doesn't heat you up....bed doesn't relax you.....

There is a burden on your heart....heavy...which you could feel ..each time you breathe...each time your heart beats...each time your eyes blink...each time your lips smile...it aches...but ,with time...it passes away...in the flow of tears...with these salty tears....

......and time comes...when there is no more mournings...nothing has left to you...within you...nothing in heart...nothing in mind...you feel your soul hollow...inside..

you become brusque....blunt......to each happening..............nothing affects you...good or bad...you don't smile...you don't frown...you don't cry...you don't beg......you don't complain...as you have become numb to all of these....

And this pain is doubled.....when you have to go out to your rut...you have to dressup daily in the same way you have been,for years....you have to work..smile..talk..laugh....even dance....you have to do all this to keep the people away from your agony....Coz you just can't share ....to anyone....coz it makes no difference at all...

you feel...suffocating.....

Give me a wish..

Ain't it strange...YOU and this mighty world of your
The more you give, actually the more I starve for

When I was young,I wanted to be older
now When I'hv grown,I wish to be a kid again

When there was Sun...I longed for rain
But I cried for Spring...when rain came,

when spring prevailed..I urged for an autumn
and when leaves left...I demanded bright Sun


When I needed Love...you gave me pain
And all my prayers were gone in vain

But then only once Luck....showed up to me
When days became lovely & nights dreamy

I embraced it all & grasped it tight
and then you left me...alone and deprived

When I worshiped you...you always betrayed me
when I betrayed you...you gave me everything
except...
I was not me anymore... I was lost...

Now..I don't ask you for anything
But you have to fulfill .....my this very single wish...
Either..let me know really ,what can make me happy
Or,make me way,I can be happy with whatever you give.

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Only eyes speak the truth,neither the mirror nor the lips...A true beloved who cares for you can see the pain in your eyes while everyone else still believe in your smile.

Different needs of Men & Women

Women need to recieve--

1-Caring
2-Understanding
3-Respect
4-Devotion
5-Validation
6-Reassurance

Men need to recieve--

1-Trust
2-Acceptance
3-Appreciation
4-Admiration
5-Approval
6-Encouragement


Every man & woman ultimately needs all tweleve.It isn't that women do not want to be trusted or accepted & men do not want to be cared or respected.But the above given are the "primary needs" of men & women that are quite different.What is meant by "primary needs" is that fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able fully to receive and appreciate the other 6.



Extract from a famous book.

Being 22 SomeOne

This year only left me being 22 someone..hmm,its not only about figures or time,but more about the growing process...growing at mental,social and perhaps so many levels.The world around me is changing at tremendous speed.

This year is perhaps my last year in home.Completing my bachelors,would be leaving for job in next 5 months.It kind of attracts me but at the same time leaves me bit nervous.A totally new world is waiting for me out there.Being a gal would never be able to live with these people,the way've been since past 22 years...depressing..but helpless.As they say "to move on" is what called Life.Lets see what life has in its grand and auspicious store for me.

• I dont find myself as a kid anymore,childhood is just on leaving edge...and youth has already made its presence.I am in phase of transitions..each day..sometimes, more than once in a day.It's quite intresting and at the same time scaring too that I know I will not b thinking the same way on a thing, the way I think now.There are things,people,relationships about which my perceptions have got totally changed in a small span of time..less than a year.
  
  
• First I had my eyes only..then I practised to use my own perceptions...experiences came in addition...then learned to trust the exsistance of exceptional cases..and gradually following the process,seeing things using all the affecting factors..now I can see the picture on a broader canvas..my strong sense of right and wrong is fading...as you grow you gain flexibility in thoughts....you tend to believe almost everything is possible and one most important thing that nothing is really wrong in this materialistic world.Nothing really surprises me now...yeah!Nothing...
  
• Life is quite confusing for me this time.There are so many temptations all around..to be bad is the easiest thing in this world.And to remain what you are is the toughest,this world doesn't allow you to be like that.People change...yes,everyone.Someone told me once,"do change...changes should always be embraced as far as they are improvements",nice thought,I wish I can remember this throughout my life.


• I see people around me running...just running .. after opposite sex,love,good looks,money,and more money,everyone is trying to accompany the high society life..show offs are at peak this time,..I doubt if they know what exactly they are chasing for.Perhaps I too may not know what I want out of my life but I have a clear vision what I don't want to loose in this race.
• I don't want to loose the real me.

I wish to have one life so that I may not regret of anything when I reach to my sixties.

Who I Am

I find myself on a road joining two houses...one is his and one is my parents'.I see my self as an emotional cord binding these two ends together.I want these two to be happy,wealthy and blessed forever.I care for all these people.I see him enjoying his time with his family,they are dear to him,his mother,brother,sisters.They all are family.He's been with them for years...he looks so happy,I see him enjoying with my eyes smiling.

I see my parents enjoying back at my home....my brothers,my parents having their grand children in lap,uncle aunts,cousins..they all are family.
And me....
yes I know the answers...but still they dont satisfy my quest.