Quote

"Its never " too " late......"
True

Lesson of Life

What would you say if you are asked one question,"what's been the "biggest " lesson of your life ?"


For me its, "Never Say Never" . Yes..

Have you ever been in a state...you had never thought about..someday YOU could be in.
Once,when you had seen other people living them,it was "ch ch...so sad"..kinda.. not 1% more than that.It was just like,you saw,you asked,you felt sorry for them and you forgot.
Have you ever lived kind of moments,even thinking about which's been horrible to you.You thought it to b idiotic or senseless ,even imagining those things happening to you....but when you lived them,it was not so....not at all.

But you had to face it...and you did.And when you ask yourself...how you could...only one answer comes your way...." I had to.... ".

Now when I look back....I find past one and a half year had been quite suprising for me,each day,each month..I faced so many things...some incidents that were far beyond my imagination..
Some of them were tragic......extremely...stirred me up,my soul....some unexpected things....left me shattered into pieces..some made noise..some stayed silently inside me and my world, in one corner of my heart..some poured out through my eyes, leaving them swelled.

Life is really strange..now I scare using this word "Never"...I really do.Coz I don't know what life has in store for me.

Quote

God never gets you in a trouble , you can't handle.Rather He wants You to know your Strength & Potential.Have faith in HIM & yourself...and you are through.
A Winner...always.

Somethings we never know..

Some people come into your life to change your perceptions..specially about you.To prove you wrong each time you make an impression about them in your mind.Each time when you start believing your conceptions,they prove you wrong..they leave you puzzled...sometimes smiling..on no one else but yourself only and your logic.


After two years of obvious silence,he called me to wait in canteen ,through one of his friend.And First thing striked to me was..now what?I tried remembering on my way to canteen,if I had done anything in near past that can affect him anyhow..but,certainly I didn't find anything.And I was there with two of my friends(gals)...yea..I had to be there.He peered through the canteen door joints.And after some formal talks,as we had nothing much to talk about,he said,"am Sorry...sorry,for what all happened.there's nothing in my heart now.Everything is perfectly okay from my side."(with smile,a kind of ,when you feel more guilt while saying sorry,that too for a stupid thing).I too smiled,said,"oh..its OK yar."
Pause...
"ok..then,bye."
"bye."
And everything was fine now...well,not really.

We had some foolish but heated arguments once,and things got worse,more than we ever could imagine.I cried..allot.Though we had nothing to have an hatred for each other...that too for so long.
Yet silently we decided not to talk...we never did.

Though we were never best or good friends either...but just friends.Though people around us used to make stories(you know...as in college they tend to know..kiska-kis ke sath etc,anyways people have got full right to have their part of gossips),that hardly bothered to any of us.

I think whenever you go to a new institute or company,you remain quite interested in meeting,talking and knowing people ,with a hidden purpose of finding how they are,and with whom you can b friends.Consciously/unconsciously you tend to guess their nature.I was never interested in this,really..but do not remember ,even today,how we started talking to each other.

He is the only person who left me puzzled in the same way,no matter what I think of him.Now I can't say anything about him,confidently...except.."He is Strange." He doesn't talk much,but at times he did.He is gentle..but he had been the most harsh person too.He is intelligent..but he lost his one year,I doubt if he did it consciously..yeah..he can.He is quite introvert...yet sometimes I found him a confused soul.So..here I am still can't say anything surely abut him.
Don't know...but there is something strange between us.I don't know him well..yet I can feel a bond..emotional one.We haven't talked to each other since past two years,no call,no message..nor we are going to.But somehow I know , if ever I get into a trouble,and he gets to know..then he will be the first person to lend me a hand of help and the same is with me.I never want him to get hurt.I wish him to be always safe,healthy ,wealthy and blessed.


Somethings in life are beyond words..definitions..imaginations..logics.

GKD 1

लाइबरेरी के पोरिट्को मे कार रुकी थी और उसके अंदर ही डाक्टर साहब की लड़की बैठी थी !

"क्यों सुधा अंदर क्यों बैठी हो?"
"तुम्हें ही देख रही थी चंदर ! ",और वह उतर आयी ! दुबली पतली ,नाटी सी ,साधारण सी लड़की ,बहुत सुंदर नही ,केवल सुंदर !
बातचीत मे बहुत दुलारी !
"चलो, चलो ! ",चंदर ने कहा !
वह आगे बढ़ी ,phir ठिठक गयी ,और बोली ,"चंदर एक को चार kitaaben milatii
हैं ?"
"हाँ !क्यों ?"
"तो ...तो ..." उसने बडे़ भोलेपन से मुस्कुराते हुए कहा -"तुम अपने नाम से मेंबर
बन जाओ ,और दो किताबें हमे दे दिया करना बस,ज्यादा का हम क्या करेंगे ?"
"नहीं " चंदर हंसा -"तुमारा तो दिमाग खराब है ! खुद क्यों नही बनती मेंबर ?"
"नहीं ,हमे शरम लगती है ,तुम बन जाओ मेंबर हमारी जगह पर !"
"पगली कहीँ की !" चंदर ne उसका कंधा पकड़कर
चलते हुए कहा -"वाह रे शरम ! अभी
कल ब्याह होगा तो कहना ,हमारी जगह तुम बैठ जाओ चंदर !कालेज मे पहुंच गयी लड़की ,अभी शरम नही छूटी इसकी !चल अन्दर !"
और वह हिचकती ठिठकती ,झेंपती और मुड़-मुड़कर चंदर की ओर रूठी हुई निगाहों से देखती हुई अंदर चली गयी !"

थोड़ी देर बाद सुधा चार किताबें लादे हुए निकली !
कपूर ने कहा-"लाओ ,मैं ले लूँ !"तो बांस की पतली टहनी कि तरह लहराकर बोली -"सदस्य मैं हूँ !तुम्हें क्यों दूँ किताबें ?" और जाकर कार के अंदर किताबें पटक दीं ! फिर बोली ,"आओ बैठो चंदर !

"मैं अब घर जाऊंगा !"

"उंहू ,यह देखो !"और उसने भीतर से कागजों का एक बंडल निकाला और बोली -"देखो! यह पापा ने तुमारे लिए दिया है !lucknow मे कोन्फेरेंस है ना !वहीँ पढने के लिए यह निबंध लिखा है उन्होने !शाम तक यह टाईप हो जाना चाहिऐ !जहाँ संख्याएँ हैं वहाँ आपको खुद बैठकर बोलना होगा! समझे जनाब?"उसने बिल्कुल अल्हड बच्चों कि तरह गरदन हिलाकर शोख स्वर मे कहा !

कपूर ने बंडल ले लिया और कुछ सोचता हुआ बोला -"लेकिन डाक्टर साहब का हस्तलेख ,इतने प्रष्ठ ,शाम तक कौन टाईप कर देगा ?"

"इसका भी इंतजाम है "-और अपने ब्लाउज़ म से पत्र निकालकर चंदर के हाथ मे देती हुई बोली -"यह पापा कि कोई पुराणी इसायी छात्र है ! typist !इसके घर मैं तुम्हें पहुचाये देती हूँ !मुख़र्जी रोड़ पेर रहती है यह !उसीके यहाँ टाईप करवा लेना और उसे यह ख़त दे देना !"

"लेकिन मैंने अभी चाय नही पी !"

"समझ गए ,अब तुम सोच रहे होगे इसी सुधा तुम्हें चाय भी पिला देगी !सो मेरा काम नही है कि मैं चाय पिलाऊं ?पापा का काम है यह!
चलो आओ !"

चंदर भीतर जाकर बैठ गया और किताबें उठाकर देखने लगा -"अरे चारों कविता कि किताबें उठा लाई ?-समझ मे आएँगी तुम्हें?क्यों सुधा?"

"नहीं ,"चिढ़ाते हुए सुधा बोली "तुम कहो,तुम्हें समझा दें !economics पढने वाले क्या जाने साहित्य ?"

"अरे !मुख़र्जी रोड़ चलो !"सुधा बोली -"चाय पी लो तब जाना !"
"नहीं,मैं चाय नही पियूँगा !"चंदर बोला

"चाय नही पियु गा ,वाह!वाह !"सुधा कि हंसी मे दूधिया बचपन छलक उठा !-"मुँह तो सूख कर गोभी हो रहा है ,चाय नही पियेंगे !"

बंगला आया तो सुधा ने महाराजिन से चाय बनाने के लिए कहा और चंदर को study रूम मे बिठाकर प्याले निकालने के लिए चल दी !


This is a page from a novel "Gunahon ka Devta" by Dharmveer bharti.My first novel ever ,in hindi and one of my fevorits.I don't really want you to loose its charm by knowing its story itself,but for the reference purpose only, I tell you ,this is a story about a very ordinary girl of sixteen and twenty-two year old guy ,use to come to her place often to meet her father.Who helps him in completing his degree.They both are quite familier to each other,upto which extent...they themselves don't know.There are two more girls,one is the cousine of this girl and other one is a mature christian anglo-indian.

This story compels me to think alot of things,including "is it necessary for each relationship that exists in this world ,should posses a well defined name?There may be some bonds that are beyond definitions.Sometimes no one is wrong,its only circumstances and time that make them doing wrong things,choosing wrong options.

Though as you are done with d book,you may think there cud b a better title for this stroy,yet d way writer has narrated it,is excellent.You will fall in love with each of d characters.And d most amazing thing is,you just cant blame any character for anything.They all seem to b right at their stand.

And d girl "sudha" is just darling.So much innocent,cute and lovely she is ,as story starts..but how circumstances change her is worth reading.Three girls of three type,one loving and responsible father,one gentle friend,lover,one simple husband,one crazy brother...so many different characters and their lives,stands,thoughts,perceptions, and their dilemma.Wonderful novel with tragic end.

helpless..

I have never found myself this much helpless...i do not know whats going on..but i scare...

Have you ever been in a state....when you feel you are loosing control over yourself...you know that you are not feeling well...there's something wrong with you..but you don't know d solutions too...you are completely unaware of how you may react to something ..next moment...

thers something...contantly going on in mind,but you know you are strong enough to face it....you are trying to avoid it..ignore it.but d moment you think you have won,you find it standing right in front of you.

Things were perfectly okay with me...how could this happen to me....

Am trying hard to kick it behind and move forward...but it isn't leaving me...

am dying..inside..

Help me God...

Nothing At All..

It's amazing..How you can speak....Right to my heart
Without saying a word....You can light up the dark
Try as I may.....I could never explain
What I hear....when You don't say a thing

The smile on your face....Lets me know..That you need me
There's a truth In your eyes.....Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand.....says You'll catch me
Whenever I fall.....
You say it best....When you say Nothing at all

All day long I can hear people...Talking out loud
But when you hold me near....You drown out the crowd
Try as they may...They can never define
What's been said Between....your Heart and mine

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know ....That you need me

You say it best...When you say..Nothing at all
You say it best ...When you say....Nothing at all

(Ronan Keating..wonderful song with wonderful music.love it.)

IfOnly-

Don't know if its just a coincident or I feel like...whenever am going through some problem,things happen in a way and i get my answers .

Anyways,recently i'hv developed an interest for english movies..have seen some and one of my friends suggested me to watch "IfOnly" and in order he arranged it too for me.

I give you a brief incase you havnt seen it,

The story revolves around a young couple.Who are so much in love with each other.One night d guy dreams of a day,it seems like
any other day of their life but in end of the day girl dies in an accident.Apprantly when he gets up next morning,for a moment he gets scared seeing his girlfriend alive,he couldn't believe it was all a mere dream....well day starts in real,and things start happening d same way he had seen in his dream.He cudnt understand what all is going on and what shud he do? What if all the things he saw are going to b true..means if hes really going to loose her today.He is confused whether he should b happy for he has got a chance to fulfill her dreams,to live one more day with her or he shud worry for he will have to live all those moments once again,he'll have to see her going once again .He finds himself very helpless.
But he prefers to b silent and asks her what if she has only one day left.She very innocently tells him alot of things she wud like to do...and here begins a fight with time.He wants to stop time but all he can do is to fulfill all her wishes,may b by going out of his reach.He does everything she tells him.And the girl remains completely unknown to all of this.
And what happens at the end of the day is quite surprising.Though whole day what he tries is to stop time or change it anyway...but as he finds it impossible he starts going with it and in the end victory is all his.You know what happens in accident?...the guy dies..
It was touching...the story...the screenplay...everything.



Dont know what director's motive is But for me it has proved out something more than a mere love story.During past few weeks am fighting with something...yes,"Time".I did everything I could do to change things but for my utter surprise am there only from where I started...nothing could b changed.I tried so hard,called so many prayers to God,tried so hard,and at last cried my heart full... but all in vain.Nothing helped.I dnt know it isnt that am feeling like a looser or depressed one...but yes one thing for sure I have learnt,time is d most important element of your life.If its with you everything favours you o/w you would b at loss,no matter how harder you try.


Its only " Time",that makes you understand things,make your realise your faults,gets you know the value of things you possess,the value of moments you have lived once,the importance of people you had have around once.


Its better to respect it.
" The only way to win over Time is go with it! "
I read someone's blog a time before,and find some lines which he too had read somewhere...it touched me too.
"If ever you find yourself on a crossroads and you cant decide which one you should opt then choose anyone and walk on....it'll definately take you where you should b,no matter what choice did you make"


Now I have stopped fighting with it.opposing it....rather trying to sail in d direction its taking me towards.Its not a surrender..it leads me to have more patience,courage and confidence.Lets see what happens....

Quote

" Nothing is wrong in this world.....only if a right person with right cause doing it at a right time. "

NameCeremony

So finally we get a name for him.

It was js second day of 7th sem,and he was doing like we had our endsems right after two hours!!huh!

Takes "Encryption and Network security" ,though his lecture could be more intresting to us(us means intelligent girls-->our class has two groups,intelligent/ratttu girls.hope you understand this word "rattu" well),but he almost ruined its charm in very first lecture.
The topic going on was "Intro-Encryption and Internet Security".So,somewhere in between he uttered,"Threeets"..yea right it was, what you read.I at once jumped to my friend,sitting left to me, in confusion...and found her eyes towards me..I think we both were like...awe!...did we hear right,or he said something wrong..it was like we were the two true linguists in the world.Afterwhile he said something inbetween the lecture,"There are two things,one is Attack and other is Threeet(well..it was threat,till now we had come to a conclusion).He used this word "Attack" for atleast 20 times,in each succeeding line.And this way his name ceremony was done.[:D].He has got a new name,though unknowingly,"Attack".I think we tend to find a name for every teacher,asap.

Well his real name is"Subhash Chandra Maurya".Na Na,he has got no relation with "Chandra Gupt Maurya"(This came in my mind when first I heard his name[:P])

On a serious note,I think every teacher has a pet word,and uses it quite often.We had one physics teacher in first year,his name was ,"Clear",hope now you dont need an explaination.[:P] anyomore.And he used to utter this word "clear" so loud,like,"cleeeeeeeeaar"...uff.One more teacher I had in class 7th,her name was "Peechhe",[:D].Even if you are chatting on first row,right in front of her,she would scream like"ye peechhe kya horaha hai?"ye batain kyun ho rahi hain peechhe".
Now..I doubt if I too use a word repeatedly.Hope no one has done this to me ,till date[:-S].

Patterns...

fi Time : 4.25am...feeling fresh.dim light in room...silence...though its still dark ...an illusion of morning is spread all over.Smell of very fresh morning breeze...coming through window...

A thought strikes me...."dsnt everything in this world follow a set pattern ?....it goes along a set path....smtimes a cycle..a loop...smtimes its js a straight line.....and thats what make evrything go normal..natural...

In other words....nothing is permanent in this world...nothing is stable...everlasting...everything varies...changes..our emotions..our priorities..our relationships..

" Life is continuous....yet never stable...its everchanging.."

Lets start from nature...Rules of nature are the best example I think to get the pulse of life...coz they are clear and live...

Earth revolves around its axis...completes its one circle and what we get is One day .It keeps going on...

Take one year...following same pattern.....when earth revolves around Sun ..it makes One year. And it keeps going on..

the same way we get different seasons...

Being a science student,have read many cycles..food,water,nitrogen,oxygen ...etc etc....but lets not consider all that boring stuff here...

Coming to point..."Life"..thats what we all dearly seek to define and understand....

Man comes here...an infant..he needs someone to get his works done,definitely parents...until he starts understanding things...learns expressing himself.....then increasingly he becomes able to do alot of things by himself.

But what happens after 60-70 years ...he gets into the same state once again...he gets old....and once again he needs someone to get his works done..this time,surely his children...(though if he is lucky enough)

Its difficult to guess why God has made life this way....wouldn't there be any other way ,men could live..

we sleep...we get up...we sleep...we get up...and if thers a gap occasionally....then again...this cycle carries on...nothing halts for anyone...ever..
we cry...we smile...we again cry....we again laugh....

we meet...we like...we love...we frown...we argue...we fight....we cry....we pursuade...then again we love...






and these incessant cycles...loops...lines...give life
the driving force that keeps it moving all the way..throughout...











is it what called life..... !!

It Works.....wonders!

Scene 1.
she said "D,your eyebrows look great,from where do you get it shaped?" I ,at once jumped from bed,approaching the mirror.Very minutely checking my eyebrows,left...then right one..then both together...ooh,yes yar,they look good,this time the parlour girl has done good job.Giving her a bright smile i replied,"yea...i get it done from Chung-Li.She does really well."
As i bade goodbye to my cousine,i ran to mirror again,smiled..i found my face attractive.Don't know if really there was something better this time,or it was just an effect of one charismatic remark.

Scene 2.
We were in college...umm..no,i think she was here at my home,she was about to join gym,said",yar i wanna be like you.So that i can wear these stylish tops with jeans.I delighted somewhere inside....awesome feeling.

Scene 3.
We(our group)participated in Fresher's party.We started preparing a dance performance for our juniors.I choreographed it,though all my friends contributed.And even during auditions,teachers got so much impressed with our dance.People were approaching us to wish that we had done so well.We really were high in spirits those days.Wonderful moments of my life.

So many incidents,that remind me of my uniqueness.Thanks to those,who care to fulfill my this very sacred indigence,though unwittingly.What i think is,actually we all dearly starve for praise.Atleast i am one of those,who love getting +ve remarks.Whether its being done directly to me,or any of my possessions.I'hv seen people,they,if are said something good,would try to pretend,they really don't care,but observing ,you'll find how their nose twitch a li'l, their cheeks get a li'l pinkish.I think they doubt if one is making fun of him.
Start praising your loved ones,the people near you....Well,I do.Naa..Let me clear,it has nothing to do with falttery,i just remind them of their good things,try to raise their confidence higher.I mean , if i can add something good to their life,why shdn't i? I gladden them coz I love them and I want them to know their strengths.That's all.

Let me start..

Let me tell you the story behind this title.I had been thinking about writing for a long time.One of my good friends, advised me,i should start only if i can write like a celebrity writer.And it killed all my confidence and deep desire to write anything.I almost started pulling out this thought of writing from my mind and heart.But some days back,my so very conscious mind told me,See am not going to take part in any writing contest,am going to write because i want to.Then why should i bother to write so artistically.So i am all set to pen dowm my thoughts and experiences here.And trust me i have so many things in mind.Meet you in my next post.till then ,tc.